Because you're asking for others' stories, I will offer my thoughts.

I know how it feels to be deeply entrenched and enmeshed in that kind of toxicity - and it doesn't matter how lovely he is 90% of the time. There are signs that this could be quite dangerous - if not physically, definitely mentally and emotionally.

You are inside the box and it's hard to see clearly.

I'm outside the box - and I've been in there, so I know how it feels.

The thing about red flags is that they're there to show you WHAT TO AVOID. Yes, they're there to give you lessons - and the lesson is "RUN. VALUE YOURSELF, RESPECT YOURSELF AND CARE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL SAFETY ENOUGH TO GET OUT ASAP."

Red flags aren't there for you to try to make them go away. They are there to warn you. Get out while you can - and then get to work on why you allowed yourself to stay in it so long. THAT is the part that needs attention - not feeding a dangerous and unhealthy relationship.

Been there myself so I get it. I really do.

I'm worried about you. ❤️