And No One Stopped Them | Part 20

How To Trash Your Life When You’re Just 15

Blinded by guilt, choking on obligation, I didn’t know how to speak up

Liberty Forrest, Author
9 min readNov 7, 2021

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young woman with face in hands
Photo courtesy of Kat Smith from Pexels

Arriving home from school one January day to find yet another big, fat letter from Richard under the letter box, I sighed heavily as I bent to pick it up off the floor, almost requiring a forklift due to its oppressive contents. Oh, fuck! More of the same old boring, tedious, lovesick shit.

I tossed the unopened letter on my bed. I’d get to it later. That reminded me, I was overdue to write to him, too. Again.

Yawn.

Until that moment, I’d been having so much fun with my three friends — and especially Charlie — I hadn’t really noticed the change in my feelings. Fuck. I guess I’m gonna have to deal with this sometime soon.

I thought I’d still been saying all the right IloveyouImiss you crap in my letters because that was how I felt. Or at least, it was how I wanted to feel. But although I was unaware of it, my letters spoke volumes for me. It hadn’t occurred to me that they were more honest with Richard than I’d been with myself. He was not a happy man.

And he was about to do something that would change my life forever.

It was late January, a Thursday night, the phone rang at around 9.30 as I was getting ready for bed.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

Oh, crap, it’s Richard. I was slightly irritated by the sound of his voice.

“Hi,” I said, surprised by my reaction and realising I’d not been thinking much about him lately.

“How are you?” he asked.

Bored and not really interested in talking to you right now. “Fine”, I said, doing my best to force a little excitement into my voice. After all, this was supposed to be a really big deal. A really expensive big deal treat. Yay, a phone call from Richard. Sigh.

“How are you?” I asked in return, not really giving a shit.

“Great. I was just wondering what you’re doing tomorrow night.”

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Liberty Forrest, Author

Award-Winning Author. Creator of “Witchy” cartoon. Spiritual Arts Mentor. Discover who you are, why you’re here, and how to follow that path. libertyforrest.com