I can relate to a lot of this - the relentless questions doing your head in, for starters. Yep. Painful.

I'm not sure if my brain just got too burned out, or too rattled after 10, yes, folks, 10 concussions to cope with any further bloody questions but finally, I reached a point where I just didn't give a rat's ass (inner or otherwise).

I got really good at telling myself it doesn't matter, nothing matters. At the end of the day, nothing bloody matters. Whatever you do or don't do, when you leave this planet, you won't give a rat's ass either (again, inner or otherwise).

That seems to have shut my brain up on the question of WHY IS THIS POINTLESS THING THE WAY IT IS?

The answer - for me - was in understanding that it's all pointless and nothing really matters. We do what we do, we live how we live, stuff happens, some of it sucks, some of it's great, and then we die. No point driving myself nuts about stuff that doesn't bloody matter.

Ain't I just a bundle of joy? 😬