I can sure relate to the culture shock in moving to another country. Been there, done that ...

I'm glad you had someone to help you through that initial part.

And I'm happy to hear you finally felt brave enough to stand up for yourself and your boundaries and say, "No."

I'm shocked by this man's attitude, saying you were ungrateful etc. That's ridiculous! One has nothing to do with the other. Clearly, he has his own issues. You don't have to do all the same things together, and he could have been respectful of your reasons for not wanting to go for drinks - even non-alcoholic ones, in that environment it didn't feel right for you.

He was forcing his needs and feelings onto you and was willing to lose a friendship over his lack of respect for your sobriety.

Sometimes, people do things like that out of jealousy. Like when smokers try to tempt people who are trying to quit, or who did quit, by saying "Oh, just have this one cigarette!" and shove one in the face of the person who doesn't want to smoke anymore.

They don't like to see other people succeed where they fail - whether it's people who drink or use drugs or who won't go to the gym. Sometimes when people see others making positive changes, it makes them feel bad about themselves, and if they can just get that person to go back to the unhealthy way, they feel better about themselves somehow.

This might have been the case with your roommate.

Whatever the reason, he wasn't being respectful of you, and you had a right to say, "No."

Better to find friends who will support you in the things that help you be the person you want to be.

Thank you for sharing this on HHH. And thank you for your kind shoutout and share of the judgement newsletterish! 💜