I totally understand that, my lovely. It's absolutely okay to be sad and scared and all those icky human things. And it's also good to stay in gratitude as much as you can.
When those frustrating thoughts hit, keep doing your best to shove away that negative energy and focus on positive thoughts about money, e.g. what you do have. The more you can keep up that vibration, the more it'll help. I know you know this; I don't mean to be telling you what to do, more like reinforcing what you already know. At least for me, those kinds of validations can help keep me focused on what I need to be remembering.
I don't know if you read this piece I wrote about how terribly dark things got for me financially, and how I turned it around. Not pushing for a 'read' here, so no pressure - it's just that I offer detailed info about the things I did that put me in a way better financial position.
Maybe it'll help, but please don't feel obliged to read it.