I used to live there. But a few decades back, I learned that we cannot make anyone feel anything. We are not responsible for their feelings or actions. No one can "make you mad." EG They might know certain things to say or do that have resulted in you feeling angry in the past, but you still get to decide whether or not that's how you'll respond if they do it again.

Like if someone pokes and pokes and pokes and pokes, trying to get you to react. You can always choose not to react - even if on the inside, it's bugging the heck out of you, if you don't show it they will finally lose interest when they don't see the desired result. Ultimately, our feelings and responses are our own - which means those of other people are theirs.

The more you think about this, the easier it gets not to react to the attempted guilting and manipulation etc. of other people.