Maria ... I am lost for words! I read your first sentence and checked the date of publishing - several times back and forth. Then scrolled to the bottom to look for a fiction tag ... but no. This happened. And I am so terribly sorry for your loss!

And here we've been chatting about other 'stuff' and you've been carrying THIS. I'm sending you bloody YouTube substack links and oh, my word - you've been at the other end of this, mired in grief and shock.

Now - much of what you said makes sense - about something you weren't ready to talk about or write about and I had a sense of something Big and Painful - but never would have guessed this.

I'm so glad that along with the pain of losing your husband so suddenly, you're also remember gratitude for the good things. You're diving into your precious memories, and hopefully this will bring a little balance as you move through this massive changes.

I dearly wish there was something I could do to help you through this but it's a bit tricky from the other side of the planet.

I can offer my friendship, an ear, my prayers for you to find comfort in your memories, your home, staying connected to the life you built together because it is still there all around you.

Sending you my love and best hugs, my friend, may you be comforted and supported at this terribly difficult time. 💜💜💜