No need to apologise for getting carried away, Kyle. I'm highly curious, too, and always like to know how things work. Unfortunately, there are some answers we'll never get until we leave this life. Why we're here, where did the energy come from etc. - no one knows the answer to those things. Well, a spiritual mentor/advisor I had for a long time in England said the point of life is for learning, but I think you mean more than that, and I'm curious about the "more than that," too.
As for whether you've been here before, I would strongly suggest "yes," especially based on your writing and your questions, but of course I can't swear to that with evidence to support it. I do know that when grandson was about 3-4 years old, he kept going on about "When I was in the war," and "before he died" or that he died suddenly, and things no little kid should know about.
I do think the "youngest souls" are the ones who do the most damage in the world, as they have the most to learn. But again, I can only speculate based on what makes sense to me.
I do believe there's "an energy behind the energy" if I'm catching your meaning with that. I'm not sure I can explain it in a message such as this (or even in a conversation, although that's probably easier!) but based on my own life's experience and information, that "energy behind the energy" is what some would call a consciousness, I suppose.
No, not like psycho old testament you-know-who, but it responds to our thoughts - and our words, which also hold powerful energy. Perhaps it's simply to do with vibrational frequencies resonating and nothing more. All I know is that this energy soup, of which we are all a part, isn't just hangin' out and doing nothing. It is active and responsive, and we have the ability to work with it.
For example, I discovered nearly 30 years ago that I have a natural ability to use that energy to heal people of various ailments. It was always a shocking experience to see such positive results. I've been meaning to write about that; maybe it's time, as I intend to write more about all of this psychic/energy stuff. (such a lovely label! But then, I never did like labels).
I did write about something that still blows my doors off when I think about it, if you'd care to read about the experience. No pressure, of course, but I suspect you might be interested in what happened.
I still have a hard time believing it myself - and it happened to me.
If you're interested, here it is:
