Oh, Catherine...I am so, so sorry for your tremendous loss, and for all the worry and challenges you faced with your son while he worked his way through life. I can relate to a lot of what you said. There are some things no parent should ever have to go through, and losing a child is at the top of that list.
May you find strength and comfort in your memories of time spent with your precious son, and in the awareness that he knew he was loved.
Thank you for sharing this deeply personal pain and journey. I wish I could wrap you up in a big hug and make it all stop hurting. 💜