Oh, gosh, Arie ... I'm so sorry for your pain. I can relate to what you've shared. And I know that as impossible as it seems sometimes, we can live a long time and get through even the worst experiences with just the tiniest bit of hope. Hold onto that and never let go.

Thank you for sharing these incredibly powerful feelings. I appreciate you.

BTW please see a little note I left on your submission at JOliver's Twist. A quick fix and I'm happy to publish. Thank you!