Oh, my goodness ... AJ ... I can't even imagine what that was like for you - seeing that scrapbook ... It would have been better for you if your dad hadn't showed it to you. Saying your mum was cheating was enough. I guess he was probably in shock and felt the need to share his discovery. It wasn't fair for you to be subjected to it though.

I can certainly understand your rage and how this damaged your relationship with her - and your father, too, I guess, because he's chosen to stay with her.

I would hazard a guess that she was hoping he would find the book - even subconsciously - a wish for him to know but not having the courage to say it. Her way of trying to tell him what was wrong in their marriage from her perspective.

But having an affair - wow. It should never have got that far. When things aren't working, you don't cheat on your spouse, you go to a therapist! You find a marriage counsellor. You talk to your partner and try to fix what's wrong. I know sometimes people get into situations where there's a "one time" thing because they're upset and emotional and then they have a wake-up call and try to fix the marriage. But to carry on like your mum did and for so long ... wishing she was with the other guy etc. - wow. I sure couldn't do it and I couldn't stay with anyone who did that to me either.

I can understand your dad's decision though, and who knows what his own deeper reasons were for staying. Sometimes people fear being alone or starting over, figuring better the devil they know than the one they don't.

I'm glad you were able to heal enough from this horror show that you didn't let it destroy your own opportunity for happiness and a good marriage. Proof that we really are able to heal if we choose to do it.

I'm so sorry you had to go through something so horrifically painful. That would definitely leave deep scars. Thank you for sharing this, AJ. I'm sending you a big hug 💜