Thank you for sharing this powerful story. Can I just say...I don't see it as you having destroyed the relationship, or been at fault for what happened. I don't see that you were in the wrong.

You were being human. You were loving and supporting your friend. Gradually, you slid too far into her problems and stopped taking care of yourself. My goodness, so many people do that! You are not alone in having lost yourself out of a desire to help someone you love.

She had a hand in it, too. She kept coming to you, and letting you pick up the pieces for her and be there in any way you could.

It took both of you to cause things to get so lopsided that the relationship broke. Nobody was "wrong" - you were just both in need of something the other couldn't give.

I understand that you regret certain choices you made; perhaps she does, too. I'm awfully familiar with that myself...!

And I suspect that you've learned something about yourself because of those choices. They allowed you to grow. And her, too. Perhaps the paths your lives took were exactly what God had in mind for both of you, for your families, careers - everything. Maybe you wouldn't have moved forward into happier marriages and the lives you're now living if you'd stayed so deeply connected - and it wasn't a particularly healthy connection by the end of it. That relationship served many purposes. There was so much good in it!!!!

And the parts that hurt have also had good in them for what they allowed you to learn and how they allowed you to grow.

I believe we're always in the palm of God's hand - or that the universe is looking out for us - or whatever people want to call it. I believe in Divine wisdom, guidance, and timing.

It sounds like you believe that, too - some version of it - that God is guiding you.

Perhaps there are no mistakes. I choose to believe that. I prefer to see them as Divine gifts that help us to learn. If we don't have those experiences, we don't learn. We can't stretch ourselves more. Those experiences help us learn more about who we are, what we want, and what we don't want.

I wonder if you can find it in your heart to forgive yourself. You did the best you could at the time and in those circumstances. If you could have done anything better or differently, you would have.

You were being human - "divinely flawed and flawless," as I wrote in one of my songs (it's a conversation with God).

Your friend had a role in all that unfolded, too. I hope you can come to a place of being gentle with yourself about all of this. Hope you take all of this with the love and compassion with which it was intended. 💜