Thanks so much for reading this! Apologies for a terribly slow reply!

Yeah, I gathered that about you! For me, a big part of this issue with playing music in front of anyone was about it expressing feelings. Even though I didn't have the awareness of that, per se, I felt restricted while playing and had no actual words about that. I guess because I was so restricted in all other aspects of my life.

Those nights when no one was home, I played so differently. Didn't even understand about that till years later.

Also, I hated making mistakes. Felt like I needed to be perfect due to the deep abandonment issues from being taken from my birth mother, stuck into at least one foster home and then adopted by a woman who didn't like me.

Thank heaven for healing!