Thanks so much for sharing this, TzeLin. I wanted to highlight every word, either out of compassion for you or for "YESSS! ME, TOO!"

I think the difference between being alone and lonely is about how you feel. I mean, feeling lonely when you're alone is because you're missing the company of another. Feeling lonely in a crowd or while with others is a different thing, and I suppose the best way I can express it is that it's a feeling of disconnection from everyone else and not liking it. Feeling alone in a way that hurts, wanting to feel connected to others, feeling like you're on the outside looking in and not liking being there.

I suppose even more simply summed up, it's feeling like you're all alone in the world - and not liking it. It's a sad, lost feeling.

I certainly felt like that growing up, and it wasn't a happy time. Then most of my adult life was busy with kids, husbands (??!!), friends, patients, clients, networking events, family events ... and then a couple of decades of a very isolated life. I feel lonely now and then and enjoy the odd zoom or phone chat with a good friend, or a rare in-person visit.

So I can completely relate to what you said about online friendships being fulfilling, and not having a lot of time or energy for real life friends.

I'm content to spend my days doing the things I enjoy. I've spend my life burning myself out by giving my energy to others. It's time I spent it on myself, and an in-person visit every once in a long while is quite enough.

Thank you for choosing HHH for this story, TzeLin. I'm honoured to publish it, and I appreciate your kind shoutout and share of my loneliness piece. Thank you! 💜