The Truth About The Golden Rule: What It Really Means
Why others treat you badly even when you’ve been as nice as pie
During my years in the counselling/healing industry, I’ve noticed that certain themes or issues come up more frequently than others.
One, in particular, arises with some regularity. It was an issue that I had in my own life for some time until I took a closer look at it.
I struggled with it and beat myself up about it for many years. Eventually, I decided that if it just wasn’t working, there must be something wrong with me.
And then the light went on.
I saw this issue come up recently with yet another client who was deeply upset. Despite her best efforts to be kind and respectful in a particular situation, she was treated pretty badly in return.
I could sense her bewilderment as she wondered why this had happened. There was a childlike innocence in the way she had been expecting that being nice to certain people would have got her the same in return.
As I looked into her eyes, I could see the sad and confused little girl on the other side of them, the wounded inner child who simply could not understand.
It was rather like seeing a child who had opened a lovely birthday present and found a toy she had wanted forever, only to discover that it was broken. She said, “I was minding The Golden Rule! I was being as nice as I could be and I don’t understand why they treated me like this anyway!”
What I Could Have Said
The first point I could have raised would have been that understanding it doesn’t change the fact that it had happened. Even if someone has had a terrible day, perhaps just received awful news, for example, and rips your head off for no apparent reason, that person is still responsible for his or her actions.
And of course, there is no way to undo them.
The next point I might have offered is that you don’t have any control over what other people do or don’t do…
