Wow, Jasmin. Thanks so much for sharing that!!

Ohhh, I understand all you said - how 'normal' all that abuse felt (and to some extent, still does because it's all we knew).

And I sure understand the temptation to give them one more chance.

Here's what I would offer as a little food for thought on that - in case it's useful. The only way it even remotely begins to make sense to agree is if it comes with a meaningful and specific apology for previous treatment toward you, an acknowledgement that all of it was completely wrong (might be pushing it to get them to admit "abuse") and that any future interactions will only be respectful in nature.

It's highly unlikely he'll even be willing to apologise in a meaningful way, much less agree to the rest, but although it's unlikely, it is not impossible because every one in a very long while, people do have some sort of life-altering 'aha!' moments that make them see the error of their ways.

It's extremely rare in abusers, though - and although change is possible, it's often short-lived.

But if there's any part of you that wants to be sure you're not going to be left wondering someday if maybe he'd had that 'aha!' moment and wanted a chance to apologise, it might be worth at least considering offering this chance for him to do it.

This would have to be because you want to do it, NOT because he's asking. It needs to be something you feel like you would need or want, to ensure there's no lingering "what if." And indeed, there might not be one at all.

Just saying, if you're going to consider this, it has to be because it will benefit YOU.

And if you're perfectly at peace with how it is, great. Leave the door closed and keep moving forward. 💜💜💜